Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Teenage girls trying to grow up so fast

I came across this article and wish I would have found it about 2 years ago when my then 15 year old daughter started wanting push up bras and thongs. It was a never ending battle with her to just slow down. If any of you out there have a teen  maybe this can help you. I sure know it would have my daughter and I. Let me know what you think.

Lately when you go shopping, your daughter has been begging for low-rise jeans, thongs. and push-up bras

Where she's coming from: The older the tween or teen girl, the more important dressing like her friends and "matching" them is, says Machoian. So if friends are going for the edgy fashions, your daughter will have trouble resisting. "From about fifth grade on, if you don't have the right clothes, you're scorned. And for kids in this age group, nothing is as important to psychological health as having friends."
There's a simpler factor at play, too. "When a girl's body is developing, it's like when you drive your first car," says Wiseman. "You want to see what it can do and how people react. You want to experiment."
What to do: "Have her show you pictures of clothes she likes," says Wiseman. "Then compromise on the items you can live with and veto the ones you can't."
If she's young enough that you're still shopping with her, and you think something she wants is too tight or too revealing, calmly say, "Let's try it in a bigger size and maybe we can buy it." Or "We'll keep looking until we find something similar we both like." If shopping trips are becoming a nightmare, consider a mom-swap -- you go with a friend's daughter, she goes with yours. (Obviously the other mom should share your standards.)
The most important thing you can do, though, is use your daughter's fashion experiments as opportunities for deeper discussions. "If your daughter's on her way out the door in an outfit you think is too tight or revealing," says Wiseman, "send her upstairs to change. Then say, 'These are my rules, but I realize you could find a way to break them. Just remember that I might find out. Not only will there be consequences for disobeying, but I will be horribly disappointed if you've betrayed the values of our family.'"
Also tell her to observe how sexy clothes make her feel and act. "Ask her to notice if her behavior matches what she's wearing," says Wiseman. Talk with her about it later, staying calm even if she says she likes how it makes her feel. Being open to hearing about her experience boosts your credibility. And helping her think things through may reinforce what you want her to learn.

1 comment:

  1. My daughter doesn't need push up bras, she is a D cup already and not happy about it. She also recently started wearing thongs, but I am ok with this since I do and she does it because the are more comfortable for her. I wont buy her anything "sexy". She is 13 and gorgeous and I'm having a heart attack, but I can definitely say that her fashion sense is great and she is alway concious of the way she dresses.